paroxysm.......

these past few days....mike and i are having problems in terms of communicating...and i admit it's my fault coz i enjoy the habit of nit-picking people and he's my favorite....

there are times when i just want to end things..say goodbye, let go and never look back...i tried to do it but due to whatever reason i just can't do it...

i'm living a lonely life a very very lonely life nd i don't want him to a part of my loneliness...i want him to be happy and not to be tied with someone like me....i'm miserable...

sure i can smile, i can laugh and even crack some jokes but it will never ease the pain that i feel... there's no room for emotions in my heart.....

he told me once that i can tell him evrything but sadly i was not born that way..i am a very discreet person...i'm hurting but you can never see a singl trace of hurt in my face...you can never see a tear in my eyes....

spiderman once said "punch me and i'll bleed"

bleed.....

i want to bleed physically so that people will see that i'm hurting and suffer in much pain....

but i'm bleeding internally...no one can see it....nobody knows about it...nobody knows that i'm slowly dying....

please see the real me...feel me....punch me.....i beg you.....


boredom's talking.........